Friday, September 24, 2010

Episode #2 – Hide and Seek, Part 1

Normandy SR-2, the Loft

"Commander Shepard, please respond."

Leanna stirred groggily in her bed. "Do you have any idea what time it is Miranda?"

"I am Commander, but this is of the utmost importance."

"Have the Reapers started their invasion? Because that is the only conceivable reason I can see for waking me up at—"

Miranda cut her off, "It's about Liara."

Leanna sat up straight. "What is it, what's wrong?"

"The most recent piece of data EDI's been able to recover is relevant to her and the Shadow Broker. All attempts to contact her have failed. I think she may be in grave danger."

She jumped off the bed and started suiting up. "How fast can we get to Illium?"

"I've already had Joker set a course. We should be there within three hours."

"Good. Have Garrus and Tali meet me in the briefing room within the hour."

"Yes Commander." Miranda turned off the comm-line.

Leanna walked over to her personal terminal and turned on the comm. "Kelly? I need coffee. Now."

"What've we got?"

Tali, Garrus and Miranda were all waiting for her as Leanna entered the Briefing Room. She sat her coffee down on the table.

Miranda approached, "The data we recovered indicates that the Shadow Broker is holding a Drell named Feron. Liara has been looking for him since he was captured while recovering your body." She handed Leanna a datapad. "This contains all the data Cerberus has been able to collect on the Shadow Broker."

Tali chimed in, "Why would Cerberus share this information with us?"

"It was likely part of the Illusive Man's trust-building ideas," Miranda replied. "Not to mention that the Shadow Broker is Cerberus's major competition on the Galactic stage."

"He gives this information to us," Garrus interjected, "and he knows you'll help Liara with her Vendetta."

Leanna nodded, "He wins me over and eliminates his competition in one fell swoop."

"That Manipulative Bastard," Miranda said through gritted teeth.

Tali's mouthpiece flashed, "Maybe we should start calling him that instead."

Leanna cracked a smile, "Sounds like a plan." Her expression turned serious again as he turned back to Miranda, "You said you couldn't contact Liara?"

"Yes Commander," she replied. "Local time on Illium is early afternoon. She should be in her Information Broker office, but there's no response, and we know she doesn't have a secretary. Not anymore, anyway"

"Joker to Shepard, we've just passed through the Relay. We'll be arriving at Illium shortly"

"Got it Joker." Leanna turned to the others, "Ok, game-plan: Garrus and Tali, you come with me to retrieve Liara; Miranda, see if you can extrapolate where the Shadow Broker is keeping Feron, use EDI if you have to, just make sure everything is done as securely as possible. If the Shadow Broker's as good as they say we don't want him clued in on what we're doing."

"Affirmative Commander," Miranda nodded.

"With you Shepard," Tali flashed.

"Just like old times," Garrus said with a Grin.

"Move out!"

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Flashback – Letters from Omega

The following letters were recorded by Commander Leanna Shepard before the Normandy SR-2 before traveled through the Omega 4 relay. Instructions were to transmit to their intended recipients upon returning unless canceled by Commander Shepard.

To: Councilor Anderson, Citadel

RE: Final Mission

If you're receiving this, my mission to stop the Collectors was a success, though at the cost of my own life. I don't know what it is that killed me, but I hope I died a Hero.

I want you to tell the council that the threat they face from the Reapers is real. I know they won't believe you, but do it anyway. Do your best to piss them off.

I also want to make sure you know something. I don't trust Cerberus. I never trusted them. From the moment I discovered they were the ones that brought me back, I knew I'd have to play along with them to get anything done, but if I'm dead, then it's permanent. There's no way they're bringing me back.

I've included data encrypted by Cerberus detailing everything they've done over the past five years. Guess that means there's nothing in it about Akuze, but there's plenty of other info to go around. It may take a while to decrypt, but I bet it's worth it. Give the Illusive Man hell.

Look after your family, give my regards to Hackett, and kick Udina in the balls for me.

-Lt Commander Shepard, Spectre

System Note: Recorded but not sent

To: Operations Chief Ashley Williams, Location Unknown

RE: One Last Goodbye

Hey Ash. If you're reading this, I'm dead. Again. Pretty sure this one will stick though. I didn't want to leave things the way we did on Horizon, but it looks like we'll have to.

On the bright side, if we were right, we'll both meet in the afterlife. I never got a chance to tell you how much it meant to me to have another believer on the ship with me. You gave me strength. I'll never forget that.

For what it's worth, I never trusted Cerberus or the Illusive Man as far as I could throw them, and since I never met him in person, that's not that far at all. It just felt good having someone listening to me for once. I felt like the boy who called wolf, only the wolf was there the whole time.

Anyway, when you get to Heaven, the Elysian Fields, Valhalla, or wherever soldiers like us go after we die, look me up. I'll be waiting for you.

-Lt Commander Leanna Shepard

System Note: Recorded but not sent

To: Liara T'Soni, Illium

RE: The Last Goodbye

Hey there Blue. I'm getting ready to hit the Omega 4 relay. Gotta say I'm nervous.

I wish you were by my side. The Mu Relay, Ilos, the attack on the Citadel, they seem like a lifetime ago. I guess technically they were.

Now here comes the hard part. I'm dead. I know it wouldn't be the first time, but I got a feeling there's not resurrection in store for me.

So this is the end.

I want you to know I regret nothing. I know we only spent one night together, but it was the best night of both my lives.

I wish I could convince you to give up on the Shadow Broker, but I know you can be quite stubborn. How many times did people try to talk you out of studying the Protheans? Not even your own Mother could stop you.

The only suggestion I can give you is not to lose yourself to revenge. The Broker might be able to take everything you care about from you, but he can't steal your thoughts, the things that make you, you. Hold tight to them, and he'll never win. Lose them, and even if you win, even if you get your revenge, you'll still lose.

I wish you nothing but the best Liara. I hope, someday, you'll meet someone who makes you feel the way you made me. I hope you two bond and have a bunch of blue daughters. Just promise me you'll name one after me.

So I guess this is it. I guess this is my last chance to say it, so here goes: Liara T'Soni, I love you.


System Note: Recorded but not sent

To: Donnel Udina, Citadel

RE: What to do

I'm going through the Omega 4 Relay to take out the Collectors.

I'll likely be killed.

Go Fuck Yourself.


System Note: Message Sent

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Drinking Game, Part 5

Entry 219

The situation with Kelly's been sorted out. I can't believe I broke down like that, but I feel better just telling someone what happened. I'm still not ready to enter what happened into any official logs though. Maybe I'll write it down someday, if I ever get my hands on some sort of analog writing equipment.

Kelly's news was… unexpected, to say the least. Apparently, before we hit the Omega 4 Relay, we received a major Databurst from Cerberus. EDI filed it for later decryption, but much of the data was damaged in the fight with the Collectors.

It's big though. EDI estimates several thousand Exabytes. Could take years to recover and decrypt all of it.

Miranda's been checking the ID signatures on the files. These are coming from R&D, Intelligence, even the Illusive Man himself.

So far, all that's been recovered is a handful of weapon and armor schematics. Some of it looks good. I'm keeping my Visor though.

I'm still uncertain where I'm going. The Reapers are coming, but I feel like we have some breathing room. I could head to the Citadel; see if Anderson will give me Ash's comm number, whatever good that would do. I don't even know if she'd hear me out after what she said on Horizon.

Illium's an option, but I don't know what I'd do there. Seems all Liara wants is someone to hack some terminals for her.

One thing's for sure, I'm sure as hell not getting drunk again.

End of Episode #1

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Drinking Game, Part 4

Deck 2 – Combat Information Center

Leanna couldn't wait any longer. It was time to face Kelly and talk about what they did. The elevator doors opened.

The crew was going about their business as usual. There was nothing to suggest anyone knew anything more than they should about their Commander's personal life. A few people looked up at the doors as they opened, saw Leanna, smiled or nodded, then turned back to their work.

Leanna breathed a sigh of relief. The confidence she had lost since she woke up was returning. There was just one last thing to do.

"Kelly," she called as she approached the Yeoman's station.

Kelly turned nonchalantly, "Yes Commander?"

"I need to speak with you. Privately."

"Certainly Commander. The briefing room has been fully repaired; we can talk in there if you wish."

"Lead the way."

Leanna followed Kelly through the doors to the Armory. Jacob wasn't in his customary place. Probably spending more time with Kasumi, she smiled to herself. The pair continued through the inner corridor and into the briefing room.

As the doors shut behind her, Leanna thought just how impressed she was at how professional Kelly was acting. That was, until Kelly locked her in a full body embrace.

Leanna couldn't move or speak out of sheer shock as Kelly told her, "I'm sorry Commander; I could barely contain myself until we got here." She then started to kiss Shepard passionately.

It took Leanna a full minute to recover. She gently tried to push Kelly away. "Kelly, please. Stop. I… we really need to talk."

Kelly stopped kissing her, but didn't let go completely. "I'm listening Shepard. I always am."

Leanna struggled herself free. "I think I may have given you the wrong idea."

"What do you mean?" Kelly was now starting to sound nervous.

"I'm just… not interested in you… that way."

"I don't understand."

"I mean I'm not looking for a romantic relationship."

"I'm fine with a purely physical one." Kelly advanced slightly.

"That's not…" Leanna was exasperated, "you're missing the point!"

"The point? I've been… All the flirting! You rescued me! And I know you find me attractive!"

"Of course I rescued you; you are part of my crew! I saved Gardner, and Chakwas, and Ken and Gabby, and everyone else on this whole damn ship! And I know I have a problem with flirting. It's a flaw I've been trying to work on."

"But what about last night? Those things you said?"

"Kelly, I don't remember anything I said or did last night. I had to watch Cerberus surveillance footage just to figure out what we were doing. Whatever I said, whatever I did, I'm sorry but, I didn't mean it about you."

"Is it because I'm a girl?"


"Admit it!" Kelly screamed, tears in her eyes. "You can't stand the fact you woke up in bed with a girl! You're just as close minded as…"

"Goddamnit Kelly! I'm a Lesbian!"

"You're what?"

"A Lesbian: I prefer girls."

"I… I didn't know. I'm sorry." Kelly sat in the closest chair. "I shouldn't have leaped to conclusions like that."

"Look, it's not your fault. It's not something they put in Alliance military records, and I've worked hard to keep my personal life separate from… everything else."

Kelly dried her tears on her sleeve. "Why is that?"

Leanna leaned back on the table as she searched for the words to say. "The thing is, I've loved, and I mean head over heels, spend the rest of our lives together love, exactly two women in my life. The first died in front of me, the second had to watch me die."

"Who was it that died?"

"She was," Leanna hung her head, "my commanding officer. I joined her company out of basic training. We were sent to check on a science team we'd lost contact with on Akuze. The camp was a ghost town, but we stuck around and set up camp so we could find out what happened to them.

"Night came, and I went to her tent. I told her how I felt about her, and she told me she felt the same way. We made love in her tent and fell asleep in each-other's arms.

"I don't know how long we slept before the ground started shaking. The two of us ran outside the tent, and that's when the Thresher Maws came out.

"The first to go was the very tent I was supposed to be in. If I hadn't gone to…" Leanna gritted her teeth, "I'd be dead."

Kelly brought her hand up to her now open mouth in shock.

"Every tent was destroyed in a matter of minutes. About five of us managed to make it out in time, but we weren't safe yet. We had to make it to the landing zone and the Maws weren't letting up. They picked us off one-by-one until the only ones left were the Commander and Myself.

"We were about 2 klicks from the landing zone. We could see the shuttle. That was when the biggest Thresher I've ever seen came out of the ground. Bigger than the one on Tuchanka. One look between us and we knew we wouldn't both make it.

"She grabbed me, kissed me, and told me she loved me. Then she gave me the most powerful Biotic blast I've ever been hit with. I landed within five feet of the shuttle. Two marines scooped me up and pulled me into the ship. Then we left."

"That's terrible!" Kelly stood up. "Are… are you crying?"

Leanna reached up to her eye. A single tear had managed to escape. "I haven't… I've never talked about it before… out loud anyway."

Kelly approached her, "What do you mean, 'out loud anyway'?"

"Well, it was a while before I could let someone in again. I had a bad habit of flirting to cover my insecurities, to the point where I wound up misleading Kaidan into thinking I had feelings for him," Leanna smiled lightly, "but then I met her."

"Chief Williams?"

"No," Shepard chuckled, "Ash and I were just friends. It was Liara T'Soni. She was so sweet and innocent and I just wanted to hold her tight and keep her safe. But she was so much more than that. The more I got to know her, the more I fell in love with her.

"When I said out loud, I mean I didn't tell her about it like this. When we bonded though, she saw everything. Every moment of my life, laid bare. I gave up all I was to her and she to me. It was like a million nights of pillow talk in just a few minutes.

"And then I died. Two years pass, and I've come back. I'm still the same person I was when I left, but she's changed so much. I can't… I have to…"

Kelly held Leanna. Not a romantic embrace as before, but a comforting one. "I understand."

After a moment, Leann pulled back. She hadn't a single tear since her first, but she appreciated the hug.

"Listen, I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, but I won't stand in your way. If Liara still feels the same way about you, then I wish you nothing but happiness, but if she doesn't, then I'll be here for you."

"Thank you, Kelly."

"In the meantime, I do have some good news for you."

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Drinking Game, Part 3

Still Deck 3

It was the best she could do to choke down the passable meal Gardner had made. It tasted a bit more ass today though. She was going to have to pick up some more provisions from the Citadel, or some gloves, she wasn't sure which.

Tali had finished her breakfast, so Leanna was pretty much alone in the Mess hall. Gardner was cleaning the kitchen counter-tops with a dirty rag while a few crew members were quickly finishing their meals; first shift had started about 15 minutes ago.

She buttered her toast for the third time before deciding she wasn't hungry. She pushed the tray away from her and headed to the elevator. She'd be early, but she was sure Tali wouldn't mind.

"Deck 4," she said out loud as the elevator doors closed.

What the hell is going on today? What did Miranda mean by "the gender thing"? So Kelly's a girl. Why should I care about that? I mean…

"Commander Shepard, you have arrived at your destination."

"What? Oh, thanks EDI"

Leanna made her way to Engineering. As she approached Tali, she heard Ken and Gabby talking about Haggis. Her stomach lurched.

"Hey Tali," she called out.

"Oh," Tali jumped a bit. She cleared the screen she was looking at. "Shepard! I um… didn't expect you till later."

"My schedule cleared up faster than I thought, figured I should stop by before it filled up again."

"Right, that makes sense. Well… let's go to the engine room. It's private in there."

"Yeah, unless someone looks out one of the windows."

"Trust me; it's harder to do than you think."

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Well," Leanna hesitated. She wasn't sure how to approach the issue. "There's this problem that… I need help with… in my bedroom."

"Shepard, I…"

"Crap, that came out all wrong. You see, the thing is… There's this camera… in my room. I need your help. To take it out!" she hastily added.

"Oh, sure, I can help you with that."

"Great, thanks Tali. I knew I could count on you." Shepard turned to leave.

"Shepard, wait." Leanna stopped and turned back to face her. "There was something else. Something I wanted to… to talk to you about.

Leanna walked back to where she'd previously been. "Oh, that's right. I must've spaced out. I forgot you had something too. What is it?"

"It's just…" Tali paused. "Well, it's about my future."

"Oh," Leanna was surprised, "your future? What about it?"

"Well, the thing is, I've been giving a lot of thought about where I want to spend my life. When I returned to the Migrant Fleet, I joined the crew of the Neema, but it never really felt like home. To be honest, I never really knew why until you asked me to come onboard at Haestrom. I realized that my place is here, on the Normandy," Tali paused to take a breath, "with you."

Leanna smiled a bit, "Tali, you know you'll always have a place on the Normandy."

"I know that." Tali paced a bit as she said the words. "But that's when I started thinking about what that meant. The thing is, this means I'd be spending a lot of time around Non-Quarians, which means I'd probably have to look outside my own race for… romantic opportunities."

"Did you have someone in mind?"

"Actually, yes. In fact I've had feelings for someone for a while now. Someone strong, but compassionate. Someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with."

"Really, who is it?"

"Well," Tali replied, somewhat coyly. "It's you."

"Oh," Leanna was taken aback. "Me? You mean me? You have feelings for me?"

"I do. I've been trying to figure out the best way to articulate the words. I… I've been doing some research on how humans talk about these kinds of things, and I figured the best approach was just to be direct, but I was worried about how you might react so I sort of 'knocked around the tree' as you humans say, but then I figured I'd just out with it, and now I'm thinking that wasn't such a good idea… why are you laughing?"

Leanna was indeed laughing, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it." She composed herself, "It's just… first of all, it's 'beat around the bush'."

"And second?"

"Well, I mean I'm flattered, but…"

"There's a butt?"

"A big one."

"It's not my fault! That's just the way our bodies are structured!"

"What? No, not that! I meant 'but' as in there's a reason I have to say no."

"Keelah, I knew this was a bad idea! What was I thinking! I'll have to leave the ship now won't I? I'm such a bosh'tet! Why are you laughing again?"

"I'm sorry, sorry. It's just… you're so cute when you ramble like that." She took a minute to compose herself. "Don't worry; nobody's throwing you off the ship. The reason I have to say no... is because of Liara."

"Liara? But I thought you two were… I mean she didn't even come on the mission!"

"I know, but I owe it to her to see where our relationship goes. It's not like we broke up or anything. I just… I need to see if the woman I met on Illium is the same girl I rescued from that collapsing Prothean ruin."

"You mean, you think that might not have been Liara we met on Illium."

"No, I mean the person inside."

"You've lost me."

"Never mind, what I'm trying to say is, until Liara and I have a chance to sit down and talk about our relationship, I can't really have a relationship with anyone else."

"I… I understand. You should probably get going. I'm sure you have a lot to do. Talk… talk to you later Shepard."

"Talk to you later Tali." Shepard started walking out of the engine room. Just before she got to the doors, she turned back, "I just want you to know, it's not like I've never thought about it before."

As Shepard headed back to Engineering, she could swear she saw Tali smile.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Drinking Game, Part 2

Deck 3

The elevator opened.

Leanna did her best to seem as calm as possible. There were bound to be plenty of crew members on this deck, and if they saw their CO running to the XO's office… I'd rather not think about it.

Walking into the Mess, she saw Tali sitting at the main table, a tube of Protein Paste attached to her helmet. She was engrossed in a Datapad.

"Morning Tali," she called as she passed by.

"What?" Tali looked up from the Datapad. "Oh, Shepard! Um… Good morning to you too."

She quickly turned off the Datapad and straightened up before giving Leanna a quizzical look, "What's with the outfit?"

Leanna looked down at the black dress she was wearing. "Oh, this thing?" she replied. "It was the only thing I had that was clean." In reality, she'd jettisoned all her clothes with a Cerberus logo, which meant this or armor. She hadn't put it on since Kasumi made her wear it for that Greybox heist. Well, she'd worn it one other time, but that had been in the privacy of her own Quarters.

Privacy! Leanna suddenly remembered she needed Tali's help.

"Tali, there's something important I need to talk to you about. Not here though. Someplace more private."

"That's good," Tali's mouthpiece flashed. "There's something I want to talk to you about. Meet me in the engine room in about an hour. I've disabled all the listening devices, and the only cameras there are focused on the core."

"Thanks. I'll see you then."

"Shepard," said a voice from behind her.

Leanna barely managed to contain a squeak. She turned around and faced Miranda.

"Miranda!" Leanna tried to suppress her nervousness, but it just sounded like excitement instead. "I need to see you in your Quarters… I mean office."

"Of course Commander, come with me."

I'm her CO, Leanna though. Why does it sound like she's giving me orders?

"You know", Tali said as Shepard followed Miranda. "They're basically the same thing."

"So," Miranda said once she'd sat down. "What did you want to see me about?"

Leanna felt more exposed than ever before, and not just because she was wearing a dress. Miranda had seen something of hers. Something private. Something personal. And now she was just toying with her.

"Don't worry Commander, there's no surveillance in this room. You can talk freely."

"EDI said you watched it. Twice."

"To be fair," Miranda smirked. "I only watched part of it a second time. I just had to be sure."

"Sure of what?"

"That you were quoting Vaenia."

"I was… What!"

"This isn't the Alliance Shepard. There are no rules against Fraternization. What you and Miss Chambers do in the privacy of your quarters is entirely up to you."

"But it wasn't private! I was being recorded!"

"True, but the only persons on this ship with access to that are you and I."

"What about outside the ship?"

"Technically, the Illusive Man could access it, but I've given EDI explicit instructions to block him and any other Cerberus agents."

"Well fine, but I've locked down the files and I'm having Tali take down the camera. I'll sleep easier if I know I'm not being watched as I do it."

"That is, of course, your prerogative Commander."

"And this stays between us, ok? Word gets out, and I shove you out of that… thing… where space is."

"Airlock Commander?"

"Yeah, that."

Leanna stood to walk out, but Miranda stopped her. "If I may ask Commander, what is it that you're afraid of? There's nothing wrong with anything you did. Kelly was sober and willing."

"It's not… "

"Is it the gender thing?"

"No, of course not. I… It's complicated ok? I just… I need to… leave."

With that, Shepard whirled around and out Miranda's door, not looking back.

Episode #1 – The Drinking Game, Part 1

Entry 218 My head is pounding. Why in god's name did I have to have Ryncol? Again. I guess I should be thankful I managed to keep it down. How the hell did I manage to get back in bed?

"Morning sleepyhead"

Leanna looked back at her bed. Someone was sitting up in it.

"Holy Shit it's Kelly!"

"Yeppers Commander," Kelly replied sleepily.

"What… How… Why are you in my bed?"

"You asked me, remember?" Kelly's eyes became focused, "and as Yeoman, it's my job to make sure my Commander's needs are satisfied."

"You mean we… we…" Leanna stuttered.

"My Commander's every need," Kelly said forcefully.

Leanna was panicked. Her heart was pounding. How could this have happened? She'd managed to keep herself from every temptation even when it was staring her in the face. She promised she'd wait, at least until she and Liara had a chance to talk about where their relationship was going. But now…

"Well, see you at the CIC."

Leanna looked up startled. In the time she'd been trying to figure out what was going on, Kelly had gotten dressed and was headed out the door. She managed to get out a halfhearted, "See you there," before the doors closed and left Leanna alone. Well, not completely alone.

"EDI," she called out.

A blue orb materialized next to her, "Yes Commander?"

"Do you still have surveillance equipment installed on the Normandy?"

The lines on the orb oscillated, "Yes Commander, though I have overridden the transmission protocols. We are not transmitting to Cerberus."

"Good," Leanna hadn't even thought about that. God only knows what would've happened if the transmission was intercepted. "Can you bring up any recordings made last night including myself and Yeoman Chambers?"

"One moment. Accessing." EDI glowed bright blue, then disappeared. The video files she requested came up on Leanna's private terminal.

Everything looked pretty basic. Kelly, it seemed, was helping a Drunken Shepard back to her quarters. Damn, these cameras are thorough, she thought. I may need to get Tali to remove them… or I could just keep them for… personal use.

Leanna fast-forwarded to the elevator. It was there that she saw herself start to paw at and kiss Kelly. Kelly didn't look the least bit uncomfortable.

"I think I'm gonna be sick"

"Would you like me to call Dr. Chakwas up here?"

"Get out of here EDI!"

Turning back to the monitor, they'd made it to the Loft. It looked like a bad holo-vid from an erotic extra-net site. Regardless of what she did with the rest of the cameras, she was definitely getting rid of that camera.

She couldn't take anymore, "EDI?"

No response.

"Come on EDI, you know and I know that you're still there."

"Yes Commander?"

"I want you to lock-out and encrypt these files. No one watches them, you hear me? Not even Miranda."

"Operative Lawson has already watched these files."



"Oh dear lord! No more! No one accesses these files, or any copies made, without express permission from me. Got it?"

"Affirmative Shepard. Logging you out."

This was a wildfire she had to contain. She had to go straight to Miranda and get this sorted out. She got all the way to the door before EDI stopped her.

"Shepard, might I suggest a change of clothes before you go out."

"Why, what's wrong with…" she trailed off as she looked down. All she was wearing was a pair of panties. And to make matters worse, they weren't her's.

"Son of a…"

Monday, September 13, 2010


Entry 217 Personal Log, Shepard, Leanna, Commander, Normandy SR-2

We made it back through the Omega 4 Relay. I didn't expect to be able to say those words. I fully expected my previous entry to be my last. I'm cancelling the letters I'd scheduled to send to Liara, Ash and Anderson. I'm a little relieved too; they all seem a bit too sappy.

Miranda is busy working on her report. I'm not sure what she's going to do with it now that we've left Cerberus. I can barely imagine the strength it must have taken to turn her back on the man who saved her and her sister from her father. She's a much stronger woman than she gives herself credit for, genetically engineered or not.

In all, everyone seems glad that I destroyed the base. Grunt even thought it was funny. Legion made a comparison between my choice and the one his people made. He says we're more alike than he realized. What he doesn't know is that he inspired me to make my decision. If we continue to build our Civilization on the backs of Reaper technology, how are we ever going to stand on our own two feet?

The rest of the crew's fine. Jack's being her usual "chipper" self. Mordin's already moved on to his next project. Hope it's a cure for Thane. I'm worried that without more exercise, the Kepral's Syndrome will get worse.

I'm afraid Garrus might be minimalizing his accomplishments. He led that second fire team and probably saved Tali's life. If something were to happen to me, I trust him to be the one to finish what I've started.

I still question the wisdom of having a thief living on our ship. I swear, every time I go down there, her "personal collection" has gotten a bit bigger. Jacob's spending a lot of time with her, but I'm not sure if he likes her, or just considers her a drinking buddy.

I'm glad Samara hasn't left yet. When she first joined, I got the impression she'd take off immediately after we returned through the Relay (assuming we got back at all). She's staying on the ship though. She said she can "Continue to follow the code while onboard the Normandy". I hope she sticks around. She seems lonely.

Tali seems to be holding up well. I wish everyone had her strength. I'm surprised she hasn't tried to contact the Migrant Fleet since we've been back though. She seems to be spending most of her free time around me instead.

I also want to make a Note in the Logs about Zaeed Masani. Zaeed led the Distraction team that bought us the time we needed to make it through in Samara's biotic bubble. The team made it through alive because Zaeed took every shot the Collectors fired. In the end, it seems his stubbornness wasn't enough to keep him from death. Regardless of how he lived, Zaeed Masani died a hero. In his honor, I will make sure his ex-partner Vido is brought to justice.

At this point, I'm unsure of what to do next. Part of me wants to warn the Council about what is coming, but I don't feel like shouting at a bunch of idiots. Plus the way the Turian Rep does that whole air quotes thing just bugs me.

I can't face Liara right now. She's on her whole Vengeance kick and I can't deal with that. I need to feel happy for a while. I just wish things could go back to the way they used to be between us. The feel of her skin against mine. The way we…

Dear god I've got to get off this ship. I'm setting a course for Omega. I'm gonna get drunk.